Let's get Byakuya drunk!
by EverLastingXLove
Summary: What happens when Byakuya Kuchiki gets extreamly drunk? This story is for my bf!  I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!


One evening Byakuya Kuchiki was standing in his garden admiring his beautiful cherry blossom trees until he was brought out of his daze by his younger adopted sister Rukia.

"Nii-sama!" she called.

"Yes?" he asked in an emotionless tone.

"Um I was wondering if um….if you would like to uh…..come drinking with me and Rangiku?" Rukia asked nervously.

Byakuya eyed her for a moment she really wanted to spend time with him?

"Very well…..I shall accompany you"

"Thank you Nii-sama! We should probably go now" Rukia smiled.

Byakuya nodded and followed the young raven haired shinigami to the restaurant where he saw Rangiku, Izuru, and Renji.

"I thought only Motsomoto would only be joining us this evening" Byakuya asked.

"Well I guess she invited some friends too" Rukia smiled.

_This is going to be a long night….._he thought as he walked toward the table. Once they were seated Rangiku eyed Byakuya.

"What is Captain Kuchiki doing here?" she asked.

"I thought it would be nice if he would join us…" Rukia said.

"Why? He's so serious all the time he's no fun!" Rangiku whispered.

"Just be nice….I'm surprised he even agreed to come" Rukia said.

Then Rangiku grinned and leaned over to Rukia.

"Let's get him drunk" she whispered with a laugh.

"Oh no I couldn't do that!"

"C'mon Rukia it will be fun" Rangiku laughed then she turned toward Byakuya.

"So Captain Kuchiki what would you like to drink?….Sake?" Rangiku asked with a smile.

"Tea is fine thank you…" Byakuya said in his usually toneless voice.

Rangiku frowned a bit but when Byakuya wasn't looking she poured his tea cup with the strongest sake they had and handed it back. Byakuya brought the cup to his lips then looked back into the cup.

"This is not tea" he said.

"Yes it is…..um it's a new brand ….just try it captain its good" Rangiku said with a nervous smile.

Byakuya looked back into the cup then sighed and too a sip. He ended up darning four glasses of it then soon red crept across his cheeks it was official the noble Byakuya Kuchiki was smashed. Then Byakuya lost his balance and laid his head on Rangiku's shoulder.

"Heheh…..hey Rangiku" he chuckled.

"Yea?" she hiccupped.

"I…I can see down your top" he grinned as he looked at her massive chest.

"Captain! I'm flattered but you have to buy me a drink first!" Rangiku hiccupped as she took another drink of her sake.

"Screw you then…." Byakuya sighed then he turned toward Rukia and gave her a charming smile.

"Hey there….Rukia"

"Um hi Nii-sama"

"Did….you know y-your….really sexy" Byakuya grinned as he played with a strand of her hair.

"Um Nii-sama …..please stop" Rukia blushed.

"Y'know Rukia…..technically speaking….I'm not really your brother" he smirked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Nii-sama! Please stop this instant!" Rukia said angrily.

"Oh ho ho playing hard to get? I like that….you sassy thing you" Byakuya grinned as he place a kiss to her cheek making her turn bright red.

"Nii-sama this is not appropriate!" Rukia yelled.

"Fine…..you'll come around sooner or later….you cant stay away from this!" he smirked as he flipped his hair. Then he leaned across the table to Renji and laughed.

"Renji, Renji, Renji…I feel sorry for you" Byakuya sighed.

"W-what? Why?" Renji asked as he downed his fifth glass of sake.

"Your not a real man….you are a tiny fool"

"Oh yea! Your not a real man either!" Renji yelled as he pored himself another glass of sake.

"Oh really? And why is that?" Byakuya chuckled.

"You don't have a tattoo" Renji smirked as he tapped his forehead "Your too chicken to get one anyway"

"Oh really now? I shall have a tattoo!….a …hmm…a banana tattoo!" Byakuya declared.

"Why a banana?" Renji hiccupped.

"B-banana's….are a good source of nutrients…..and they are …..SEXY! That is why you cant get one! Because you are not sexy like me!" Byakuya laughed.

"Oh really now? How bout after we are done here we go to the tattoo parlor and get one! And who ever chickens out first is not a true man!" Renji grinned.

"Your on Abarai!" Byakuya said then his eyes drifted across the room to Momo who was sitting by Toshiro. Byakuya smirked and wobbled up to her.

"Hello Momo…..have your boobs gotten bigger? I mean uh nice shirt"

"Captain! don't stare at my chest you pervert!" Momo cried.

"Pffft don't get hot and flustered….. Just use a bit of mustered babe…. I know you want this!" Byakuya smirked as he pulled his shirt open relieving a bit of his chest.

"Yea that's right Momo…drink it in….you can look but cant touch"

"Little shiro ….what just happened?" Momo whispered.

"Well….I think you got visually raped by Captain Kuchiki" Toshiro sighed.

Mean while a random soul reaper from squad eleven was attempting to flirt with Rukia and Rangiku was shouting nonsense at Izuru. Then Rukia looked around the restaurant but she could not find Byakuya so she turned to Rangiku.

"Hey Rangiku have you seen Byakuya nii-sama?"

"No…have seen him…. Hmm I haven't seen Renji either…" Rangiku frowned.

"Izuru have you seen Kuchiki and Renji?" Rangiku asked.

"Kuchiki and Renji? Yea they said something about going to the tattoo parlor" Izuru hiccupped.

"TATTOO PARLOR? Oh great!" Rukia said angrily as she stood from her seat.

"Where ya going Rukia?" Rangiku asked.

"I have to find my brother before he dose something stupid!" Rukia said anxiously as she ran as fast as she could toward the tattoo parlor.

Once Rukia reached the Tattoo parlor she saw Renji and Byakuya stumbling out the door.

"Nii-sama!" Rukia called.

"Oh hi my sweet darling Rukia….guess what! I got a tattoo!" he smiled as he opened his shirt to show her his tattoo.

"Nii-sama….you didn't…" Rukia gasped as she stared at the banana tattoo on his chest with elegant words on the bottom that read: My banana is bigger than yours Renji!.

"Pretty cool huh" Byakuya grinned as he threw his arm around Rukia.

"Renji did you get a tattoo?" Rukia asked nervously.

"Haha! No he was too chicken! And those tattoo's on his face aren't even real! He has to apply them to his face every day!" Byakuya laughed.

"Shut up!" Renji yelled as his face grew red. "I'm gonna go back and drink more sake" Renji said nervously as he walked the opposite direction.

"I'll go too!" Byakuya smiled.

"Oh no you don't! Your going home!" Rukia said in a stern tone.

"I don't wanna!" Byakuya whined.

"Too bad!" Rukia growled.

As Rukia helped Byakuya walked toward their home they saw Captain Komamura. Byakuya stopped and smiled at him.

"Good evening Rukia, Captain Kuchiki" Komamura said politely.

"Hi puppy, puppy awww so cute" Byakuya smiled.

"Excuse me?" Komamura asked confused.

"Can you go fetch huh? You wanna a treat?"

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" Komamura asked angrily.

"I apologize Captain Komamura my brother isn't himself tonight….um please excuse us" Rukia said as she dragged Byakuya away.

"Aww Rukia I wanted to play with the puppy!" he frowned.

"No we are going home!" Rukia snapped.

"Fine" Byakuya sighed.

Once they got to the Kuchiki manor Rukia managed to pull him to his bed room.

"Hey there's a bed…..oh Rukia I knew you couldn't resist me!" Byakuya smirked.

"NO NII-SAMA! You are going to sleep!" Rukia yelled.

"I don't wanna!" Byakuya yelled in a childish tone.

"TOO BAD!" Rukia growled _I cant believe I just yelled at Byakuya nii-sama…._Rukia thought.

Then Rukia pushed Byakuya onto his bed and pulled the covers around him.

"Now go to sleep" she said.

"I said I DON'T WANNA!" Byakuya whined.

"Do as I say! Do you know how much trouble you would be in if the elders found out? And another thing-" Rukia was cut off by Byakuya's loud snoring.

Rukia sighed and walked to her bedroom _this is the last time I take him drinking with me…._Rukia thought angrily as she soon fell asleep. Then next morning Byakuya woke up with a very bad headache he looked around his room in confusion.

"What happened….why dose my head hurt?" he muttered as he sat up then he winced at the pain coming from his chest.

Byakuya curiously pulled open his shirt and saw his new banana tattoo.

"My banana is bigger than yours Renji?" he read in confusion.

Byakuya quickly walked down the hall and found Rukia walking to the kitchen .

"Rukia….what happened last night?" he asked in confusion.

"You got drunk" she said in an irritated tone.

"Drunk?" Byakuya asked in confusion.

"Lets just say all the male shinigami think you are an idiot and all the women thing you are a pervert" Rukia said as she walked away.

"Idiot?…..pervert?…. Great" Byakuya sighed.

After that night Byakuya had a hard time showing his face with out being made fun off but they soon stopped when he threatened them with Senbozakura. So that is why you never give Byakuya Kuchiki sake.


End file.
